FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG Sometimes they wear tuxedos. Sometimes they wear tweed jackets. Depends on the vibe. They like their coffee mugs secretly full of wine shaken not stirred. Not sure why. It makes a lot of stains. And they're not fast lovers. They're very slow. Like turtles. Reeeaaalllyy taking their time. These sunnies won't slip or bounce while you you sip secret wine and make turtle-like love to a fellow doctor. (WE ARE TOO 'REAL' DOCTORS MOM & DAD!!!) No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Dissertation: no one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet.
COSMIC CRYSTALS: OUR NEWEST CELESTIAL OFFERING Have you manifested your Cosmic Crystal yet? Chiseled directly from the mines of your newly opened heart space these Crystals are The Answer from The Universe you have been seeking. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Hipster/Influencer/Dystopian Future Rebel:Whatever persona you're channeling we guarantee no one wearing goodrs has ever been mistaken for not being cool. Or dope. Or whatever the lit people are saying these days.
INTRODUCING VEGAN FRIENDLY COUTURE. You’re getting ready for work and telling yourself you look purrfect. But when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror you know you're lion. If you go to the office like this you'll be a social leopard! Something's missing so you take a deep breath and paws. Then you realize these gold and brown patterned sunglasses will give you the eye of the tiger. Beaming with pride you leave home ready to roar! (And the first item on your to-do list is to fire that pun-loving copywriter Klaus.) Features No Slip: Lightly-textured silicone earpieces use the all new goodr Cat Tongue Technology to offer enhanced protection against slippage. No Bounce: Our frame is crafted to be feather-weight yet snug with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing when running. All Polarised: Glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fashion: Look like a model while you're running. Isn't that why you're taking all those running selfies? No Catcalls: We aspire to the day we can guarantee that you won't be whistled at on the street sadly we cannot make that guarantee. We CAN however guarantee that no person wearing Runway goodrs has ever been telephoned by a cat.
THE REHAB PLAN TO RULE THEM ALL Unfollow that Instagram famous fitness star who keeps telling you to 'stretch' and 'eat healthy' and start taking notes. We've got the workout rehab plan that'll get you those sweet sweet gainz. The plan is simple slam two mint juleps throw on these green and teal sunnies and ride the lighting. BFGs:BEAST FUCK!NG GOODRS With wider frames longer arms and bigger lenses than our OGs these babies are designed to complement and fit runners with larger melons. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Demogorgans: 100% Guarantee against Demogorgan attacks. *Guarantee not applicable for any gainz taking place in the Upside Down.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS This is Ares. He has like... no chill. Don't piss him off unless you want him to jab you with that pointy spear. He is filled with rage AND he loves gore. We just hope you've had your tetanus shot. Although no tetanus shot is required for these Ares Has Like...No Chill sunnies. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS "You are cordially invited to Demeter's Farm to Table Feast. Please follow the rules.1. If you sneak in any store-bought trash like "mayochup" she will turn you into a gecko.2. Don't ask Demeter when she's getting married. She's not. Get over it Rhea.3. NO PHONES AT THE TABLE PERSEPHONE. Mama only sees you 6 months a year.4. Whoever brings up politics gets three months of famine.5. Wear her sunnies because they don't slip or bounce AND you can sneakily check everyone out in their skimpy togas.Sincerely Demeter. Yes I'm writing about myself in the 3rd person. So what? FIGHT ME." Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Poseidon is widely considered the father of the new wave music — dude knows a thing or two about making waves...especially new wave. (See what we did there? Poseidon is the god of the sea and he makes waves and then new wave is a popular genre of music so we blended the two together for a humorous outcome. Everyone knows the best jokes are the ones you have to explain. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Hades gets a bad wrap. Let's compliment the God of the Dead.1.GREAT ruler. The Underworld attracts more than 50 million permanent visitors a year!2. HE HAS A DOGGO!!! When Cerberus gives Hades three-headed dog kisses it's so cute.3. He's not petty or vain. So he probably won't like these compliments. Oh well! Hades Gonna Hate*.*These sunglasses won't slip or bounce while crossing the river Styx. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Who is the god of flamingos shrimp and Piña Coladas? It's Flamites God of Flamingos. Duh!!! He's the only deity we worship here at goodr. (Just don't tell Carl the Flamingo that. He considers himself a god.) Flamites makes it rain shrimp around our office on the reg it kinda reeks but we don't say anything because we don't want him to turn us into crustaceans and then eat us. He was the inspo for these gorgeous colorful stone-inspired sunnies. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Fun.
INTRODUCING OPERATION: BLACKOUT When you wear these all black Mach G sunglasses you don't just join an elite sky force. You also earn the title Basic Bitch. That’s right. You heard us. BASIC BITCH: Badass Aviator Speeding Into Clouds Best In The Cockpit Hahaha. So own it. You basic and you know it. (Disclaimer: These sunnies will not make you better at backronyms.) GOODR + AVIATORS = MACH Gs Our MACH Gs are a classic aviator style made to give you the speed if you feel the need. Plus this smooth sleek frame means no unsightly imprints on your nose from those weird nose pads on traditional metal aviator frames. Features 1. NO SLIP: We use special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating. 2. NO BOUNCE: Our frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running biking beasting or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.* (*Not tested at hypersonic speed but...we're pretty sure.) 3. ALL POLARISED: The speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing polarised lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. 4. ALL SPEED: An all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition. 5. FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIP: Included with purchase.
RADICAL REFERENCES! Although inferior in all other ways to the sequel the best moment in the Original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comes when Michelangelo and Donatello are watching the tortoise and the hare. Hence we created these tortoiseshell sunnies “Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit.” Ninja kicking is actually a valid strategy for winning any race! BAMF Gs: BEAST [BLEEPING] GOODRS With wider frames longer arms and bigger lenses than our OGs these babies are designed to complement and fit beasters with larger melons. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. No Demogorgans: 100% Guarantee against Demogorgan attacks. *Guarantee not applicable for any gainz taking place in the Upside Down.
INTRODUCING POLLY WANTS A COCKTAIL. No your parrot isn't just mindlessly repeating everything you say. Your bird seriously wants a cocktail. It's a lot of work sitting on a perch all day. So make a drinky-drink. These sunnies won't slip or bounce while giving your pet a hard-earned vacation from sobriety. 'RAWK!!! POLLY WANTS A HOOKER!' Okay that's enough pampering. Boundaries. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug and light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays. All Hipster/Influencer/Dystopian Future Rebel:Whatever persona you're channeling we guarantee no one wearing goodrs has ever been mistaken for not being cool. Or dope. Or whatever the lit people are saying these days.